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Post by Jen on Jan 13, 2005 21:16:26 GMT -5
The rest of the week, if they managed to leave their bungalow, they were at the beach. On their last full day on the island, they planned on getting out and checking out the local merchants so they at least went back with something for their family members.
They laid in bed, with a light morning breeze blowing through the room, both of them still recovering from their night of love-making.
"I'm going to jump in the shower so we can go shopping," Harley said as she kissed Gus then rolled out of bed.
"Oh my god," Gus said when he watched her walk to the bathroom and he got out of bed too.
"What?"
"You. You have a little belly finally!" he said excitedly as he reached out and put his hand on her stomach that seemed to have popped out overnight.
"Wow, yes I do," she replied looking down. "That wasn't here yesterday was it?"
"No, it wasn't. My god, there's really a little person in there," he said quietly.
"Yeah," she smiled. "You're just realizing this?"
"Well, of course not but wow…this really makes it real. I mean, the other day, you felt it moving, but I haven't gotten to experience anything like that yet except for a positive test stick and morning sickness. But this...this is our baby, Harley. The best parts of you and me combined into one little tiny miracle, and now I can actually see that," he explained.
"Yes, and so can the rest of the world," she replied as she kissed him. "We're going to have to tell everyone when we get home, I guess."
"Good. I can't wait," he said as he pulled her into a hug.
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"My god, you look adorable," Gus said when he came out of the bathroom from taking his shower and saw Harley dressed and pulling her hair up at the mirror.
She was wearing a short, white, casual skirt and a pink halter top that was just short enough to show off a little bit of her tanned and bulging stomach. With her hair pulled back into a ponytail, Gus thought she looked more like 24 than 34 and couldn't be cuter to him.
"Really? I'm a little self-conscious with my stomach hanging out," she sighed as she pulled her top down over the waist of her skirt.
"Don't be. You look beautiful," he assured her with a kiss.
They held hands as they walked down a strip full of street vendors and small tourist shops looking for souvenirs for their family.
Gus pulled her over to a flower stand and he picked out a tropical flower and handed it to her with a kiss.
"It's beautiful Gus, thank you," she said as she wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him.
“Tradition says that a flower behind the left ear means you are taken, and behind the right means you are available,” the man selling the flowers told them and Gus took the flower from Harley.
“Well then this should go here,” he said as he pushed the flower into Harley’s hair above her left ear. “Because you are most definitely taken,” he smiled and she pulled him into a kiss.
They kept their arms around each other as they continued walking and Harley laced her fingers through Gus's hand that was over her shoulder.
"I was thinking," Gus began, "we should name the baby something really different.”
"Such as?"
"I don't know...Moonbeam," he suggested as he ran his fingers through a wind chime hanging from one of the booths.
"Moonbeam?" Harley laughed. "Get out of here," she said as she butted his hip with hers.
"Well, it's different," he laughed.
"Actually, I was thinking we should go for something normal. I mean, you changed your name, but I grew up with an odd name. I always wanted to be named something normal like Kathy or Sarah," Harley said.
"Oh, I guess that makes sense too," he replied. "Okay, so we'll cross Moonbeam off the list."
"Yes, please," she said as she tightened her grip around his waist.
"What about...Hannah?" he asked. "Is that normal enough?"
"That's normal, I like that one," she nodded.
"Okay, or...Jennifer, Emily, Ashley..." he rattled off girls' names and Harley listened with a smile.
Her smile got even bigger as a group of college-aged girls walked past them and every single one of them eyed Gus up and down or did a double take while he ignored them and continued suggesting baby names. She knew she never had to worry about Gus cheating on her, but it was always nice to get that reassurance when he ignored pretty young things and couldn't take his eyes off of her. She turned her head and kissed his neck.
"What about names for a boy?" she asked. "All you keep suggesting is girls names. Unless you want to name our son Emily," she teased.
"Okay, what are some normal boys names that go with Aitoro?" he asked.
"Actually, I have a request," Harley began. "If we have a girl, I don't care what we name her, as long as it's not too off-the-wall. But if we have a boy, I want him to be named Nicholas."
"Nicholas, huh?" Gus asked.
"Yeah. That way he can have your name without being a Junior," Harley replied. "What was your middle name?"
"Nicholas Carlo Sebastian Augustino," Gus answered in an Italian accent and Harley laughed.
"You had two middle names?"
"Yeah. Had to be named after both of my grandfathers," he replied.
"Oh. Well, good, because I was thinking about Nicholas Joseph," Harley said.
"Nicholas Joseph Frank Aitoro," Gus said making a face. "I just can't do that to my son."
"Just Nicholas Joseph Aitoro," Harley repeated. "Zach already has the Cooper name to carry on."
"And two Spaulding names," Gus shuddered.
"It was a moment of weakness," Harley laughed. "Why do you think we call him Zach? Anyway, like I was saying…if we have a boy, I want him to carry on your name and your dad's name. I want our son to be the little boy you never got to be," she added as her grip around his waist got tighter.
”Thank you,” Gus kissed the side of her head, "That was relatively easy, but I don't think finding a girl's name will be so simple."
"I don't think so either," she agreed.
"Are you sure you don't like Moonbeam?" he asked and she groaned as she pulled him into a store.
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Post by Jen on Jan 13, 2005 21:17:21 GMT -5
"Hey! Look who's back!" Blake exclaimed as she and Cassie walked into Company and saw Harley and Gus eating lunch.
Harley waved at them and looked at Gus, "Guess it's now or never," she said quietly.
"We are so glad you're back! We missed you!" Cassie gushed as she pulled Harley out of the booth for a hug.
"Oh my god!" they both exclaimed when they saw Harley's stomach.
"Are you pregnant or do they just have really good food down there?" Blake asked.
"Both," Harley smiled.
"Oh sweetie, I'm so happy for you!" Cassie said as she and Blake pulled Harley into a hug.
"Thanks guys," Harley replied.
"What about you? You think you're going to get away without a hug?" Blake teased Gus and pulled him out of the booth too. "Way to go champ," she winked.
"Are you kidding me?" Gus laughed as they hugged.
"I don't know, isn't that what guys say at a time like this?"
"You're the first guy to say that to me, Blake," Gus replied and Blake hit him.
"So how long have you guys known?" Cassie asked as Gus pulled Harley over to him.
"Umm, about three months," Harley answered.
"Three months?!?! How on earth did you keep it a secret for that long?" Cassie asked.
"Well it wasn't easy," Harley said as she and Gus slid back into the booth and Cassie and Blake sat across from them.
"We told the kids and my dad and Frank last week before we left and we were planning on telling everyone else at the BBQ next week, but the last couple of days, I really started to show so we just can't hide it anymore," Harley explained.
"When are you due?" Blake asked.
"November 30th," Gus answered.
"Are you excited? You must be, I'm excited!" Blake laughed.
"We're very excited. Susan can't wait, Zach is…not really happy about it, but he's getting better. And I don't know if you guys have noticed, but we've certainly been in much better moods the last few months," Harley said.
"Well, actually we have, but we just thought it was because you were just more relaxed about it all. But this is so much better!" Blake answered.
"We agree," Gus smiled and kissed Harley's cheek.
"So how was your trip?" Cassie asked.
"It was amazing. It was so beautiful down there. We had this great little bungalow on the water with its own deck and you could just climb down the ladder from the deck and swim right there. It also had a pool with a lazy river and a bar, which unfortunately I had to pretty much stay away from, but it was really great."
"Oh so you did leave the room," Blake teased.
"A few times," Gus smiled.
“Maybe twice,” Harley laughed. “Really, it was great. We both just wanted to relax and be alone, and we got that, so it was perfect.
"So what took you so long to get pregnant? Does Dr. Sedwick have any idea? Is everything okay with the baby?" Cassie asked.
"The baby is wonderful. Perfectly healthy. She doesn't know why I didn't get pregnant before. And you know what, we don't even care anymore. We just think there was a reason why I didn't get pregnant until I did, and we're so happy that we have this baby now, the last year doesn't even matter," Harley replied. “Actually, we have an appointment in like a half hour, so we should get going.”
“Oh yeah,” Gus said as he looked at his watch and stood up.
“Alright, well congratulations, and call me later okay? We’ll go out and celebrate!” Blake said as she stood up and hugged Harley again.
“Thank guys, see you later,” she replied then followed Gus out of the restaurant.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
“Harley, Gus, come on back," Dr. Sedwick said as she came out into the waiting room. "I see you're finally showing."
Harley laughed, "Yes, finally. I really popped out the last few days of our trip."
"Oh great timing. Hope your bikini still fit," Dr. Sedwick laughed.
"Barely," Harley rolled her eyes.
"Well, are you two ready to see a picture of your baby?" she asked as Harley sat on the table and Gus pulled up a stool beside her.
"Yes, definitely," he answered, smiling.
"This is better than Christmas morning for Gus," Harley teased as she pulled up her shirt and Dr. Sedwick squeezed some gel on her stomach.
"Hey, this is exciting. I've never done this before," he replied.
"I know sweetie, I think it's very cute," Harley said as she grabbed his hand and pulled him down to her for a kiss.
"Okay, here we go," Dr. Sedwick interrupted as a picture popped up on the screen beside her and Gus and Harley turned their attention to it.
"There's your baby," she said, pointing to the screen.
"Oh my god, she's so tiny!" Gus said, amazed at the scene in front of him.
"Yes, he is," Dr. Sedwick agreed.
"He?" Gus asked looking up at her.
"Oh sorry, I call all of the babies 'he', because I call the mother 'she'. I can't tell the sex yet," she explained. "But we'll do another sonogram in about 4 weeks, and maybe we’ll be able to tell then if he’s cooperative, if you want."
"Actually, I think we decided that we want it to be a surprise," Harley said.
"That's good. I think that just makes it that much more exciting. Although, I don't know if Gus could handle any more excitement," she teased as they watched Gus staring at the screen with a huge smile on his face.
"What?" Gus asked.
"Nothing," Harley said as she rubbed his arm. "What do you think?"
"I think November is too far away," he answered and leaned down to kiss her.
"Do you want to hear the heartbeat?" Dr. Sedwick asked and they both nodded.
She clicked on a few buttons and they heard a quick thumping sound.
"That's it?" Gus asked and she nodded.
"Amazing," he breathed. “It’s so fast.”
“140 beats a minute. Perfectly normal,” she replied, much to the expecting parents’ delight.
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Post by Jen on Jan 13, 2005 21:17:49 GMT -5
"So what's this big meeting about?" John asked Kevin Davis, another detective as they all met around Gus and Harley's desk later that afternoon.
"I don't know," Davis shrugged, "All I know is Harley called and asked me to be here at ten. I thought maybe they made a break on the Markus case, but then I remembered they’ve been gone all week."
"So where are they?" Franklin asked as he too joined John, Davis, Frank and the other detectives and desk officers that Gus and Harley were close to.
"They should be here any second, Chief," Frank replied.
"You know what this is about Cooper?"
"Uh, yes sir, but I'm under strict orders not to say," he answered.
"Hey guys, thanks for meeting here," Gus said as he and Harley finally joined them.
"What's going on Aitoro?" Franklin asked.
"Sorry, we just wanted to be the ones to tell you before you heard it from anyone else," Gus began as he put his arm around Harley.
"Heard what?" John asked.
"That I'm pregnant," Harley answered as she moved her bag from in front of her stomach.
"Oh, Harley, Gus, congratulations," Davis exclaimed as he hugged Harley and shook Gus's hand. "I'm really happy for you guys," he added. Davis’s son, Stephen was the same age as Zach.
"Thanks Kevin," Harley replied with a smile. "We're really happy too."
"That's great guys, congratulations," Franklin chimed in and the rest added their congratulations too. "So when will we be losing you?" Franklin asked.
"Well, I'm due in November, so I guess I’ll be on desk duty soon. After that, I guess it depends on how we're both doing," Harley answered, touching her stomach.
"Is everything okay?" John finally spoke up.
"Yeah, everything is perfect so far. We're both very healthy," Harley answered.
"Thank God," he replied. "Congratulations," he added as he hugged Harley and then, surprising everyone, he hugged Gus. When he was done hugging Gus, he went back to Harley and reached out and touched her stomach. "Isn't it beautiful? Being a parent is the greatest thing you'll ever do," he said, looking at Gus. "These nine months go by quickly, so treasure every heartbeat, every kick. And you, be a good husband and take care of your wife," he instructed Gus.
"I plan on it," Gus smiled. "We just had a sonogram, and we have a picture," he added and pulled it out for everyone to look at.
"Where is it?" a desk officer asked.
"Right there," Gus pointed and he squinted.
"That's it?"
"That's her. Or him," Gus beamed.
"You don't know yet?" Davis asked.
"No. We might find out at the next one in four weeks, but we haven't decided if we want to know or not yet," Harley answered.
"Well, there's something to be said for the element of surprise, but it's so much easier to know and have everything ready," Davis continued, “We knew that Stephen was a boy before he was born.”
"Yeah, I guess that's something we'll have to think about," she replied as a few pagers went off and a couple of the detectives had to leave, John and Frank included.
"That was a little weird," Harley said quietly to Gus after John left and they said their goodbyes and thank you's to everyone.
"What was?" he asked.
"John's little speech, him touching my stomach." she explained.
Gus shrugged, "Maybe he's just one of those people. And I think it made him miss his kid. Or kids, I don't know. I wonder what happened to them, if they died, or if they're just estranged. "
"I don't know hon, but he doesn't like to talk about it, so it's obviously very painful," Harley said.
"Maybe it's because I didn't really have parents growing up, but I just can't imagine having a father and never talking to him, if that's the case."
"Well things happen sometimes, Gus. We don't know the situation. Maybe it's warranted."
"What do you have against John?" he asked.
"I don't have anything against him," she answered. "He's a very nice man, I just get the feeling that he's hiding something. And that kind of gives me the creeps."
"Well I think he's just lonely. Maybe I'll talk to him later, see if he's okay."
"Whatever you want sweetie," Harley replied. "Are you ready to go? Blake's coming over. She insists that I wear a swimsuit to the barbeque, and I doubt any of mine will fit me, let alone be something I would be even remotely comfortable in, so we'll probably be going shopping."
"You're not showing that much," Gus said as they started out of the station.
"Yet, but the barbeque is a week away. I could be a whale by then. I was huge with Zach, huge. That's the only part I dread," she sighed.
"But you'll still be a beautiful whale," he replied as they got to the car.
Harley looked at him over the roof of the car and shook her head, "Not the right thing to say."
"That's when I'm supposed to say 'Oh sweetheart, you're crazy. You don't look like a beached whale. You are a tiny, beautiful woman that is carrying our child,' right?"
"Better, except now I'm crazy and you're just flat out lying to me," she replied and Gus sighed.
"I'm not going to win anything for the next five months, am I?"
"Nope," she answered.
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"Blake! This is not going to work! My boobs are too big for the top and the bottoms are cutting off my circulation," Harley called out from the bathroom as she tried on her favorite bathing suit.
"Then get dressed cause we're going shopping!" Blake called back to her as Gus came into the bedroom.
"What's wrong?" he asked Blake.
"It's too small," she answered.
"Honey," Gus said as he knocked on the bathroom door. "Can I come in?" he asked and opened the door anyway. “What’s wrong?”
“This doesn’t fit and I feel huge, and I’m tired and I really don’t feel like looking at myself in the mirror in bikinis all night,” she complained.
Gus came up behind her and wrapped her in his arms. “You are not huge, you are beautiful and sexy, and I will be very happy if you don’t go shopping with Blake so I can have my beautiful, sexy wife here with me all night,” he said as he kissed her neck.
Harley smiled at him in the mirror, “Don’t you mean your beautiful, sexy, hormonal wife?”
“Yeah, that too,” he mumbled into her neck and she laughed. “Honey, if you don’t want to go shopping, then don’t go.”
“No, I do, I want to go with Blake, I just don’t want to be the one we’re shopping for,” she answered as she took off the swimsuit and got dressed again. “Tell you what, while I’m gone, why don’t you unpack our stuff, wash a few loads of clothes, and when I get back, we can have a nice, quiet night together with Zach. And then after he goes to bed, I’ll model my new swimsuit for you,” she teased.
“You are so lucky that I am madly in love with you,” he smiled as he watched her finish getting dressed.
“I know,” she replied and pushed him up against the door in a deep kiss.
“I’m still out here!” Blake exclaimed when she heard them up against the door.
“I’m coming,” Harley replied as she kissed Gus one last time and opened the bathroom door.
“Don’t keep her too long,” Gus said as he followed Harley and Blake out of the bedroom.
“Hey, you had her all week,” Blake replied, “But I’ll have her back before curfew.”
“That’s all I ask,” he smiled. “Have fun ladies.”
“Bye sweetie,” Harley said before she and Blake left the house.
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"So, what do you think?" Blake asked Harley through the dressing room door.
"I think I look horrible," she called back.
"Oh you do not, let me see," Blake insisted and Harley opened the door for her. "You look adorable! With your little belly," she gushed.
"Oh get out of here. I am not wearing this in public."
"Come on, what if you want to go swimming? It's supposed to be really hot."
Harley looked at herself in the mirror. She didn't look that bad. She was showing, but she wasn't huge.
"Alright. But I'm wearing clothes overtop of it and only taking them off if I go swimming," she finally gave in.
”Fine,” Blake replied, satisfied. “So is everything ready for Susan and Marina’s party on Sunday?”
“I think so. Dad said he has everything under control. The only thing we need to do is help with the decorating and food I guess,” she answered.
“Are you going to make a big announcement about the baby at the party?” Blake asked.
“I doubt an announcement will be necessary,” Harley laughed as she came out of the dressing room. “I think it will be obvious that I didn’t just swallow a watermelon.”
“I guess so. How did Phillip take the news?”
“Oh umm, we haven’t really told him yet. But you know what, why should we tell him? I mean, why should he get a special announcement? Thank god, it’s not any of his concern.”
“Oh please Harley. We’re talking about Phillip Spaulding here. Once you’re married to him, everything about you is his business. Divorced or not,” Blake rolled her eyes.
“Well unless he asks me about it, I’m not going to go out of my way to tell him. And if he doesn’t like it, that’s his problem,” she replied, determined that Phillip would not ruin her happiness again.
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Post by Jen on Jan 13, 2005 21:18:11 GMT -5
"Hey stranger, I hear - and see- that congratulations are in order," Reva said as she and Josh came up to Gus, Harley and Zach at Susan and Marina’s party a few days later.
"Yes, thank you," Harley replied as she and Reva hugged and Josh shook Gus's hand.
"I cannot believe you didn't tell us before now!" Reva said, slapping Harley's arm playfully.
"I know, I know, but we wanted to keep it to ourselves for awhile," Harley explained.
"Well, congratulations, you are every bit the beautiful expectant mother," Josh said as he leaned forward and kissed Harley's cheek.
"You're sweet," she replied with a smile.
"You know how to take care of your pregnant wife?" he asked Gus.
"I'm learning," Gus nodded.
"Well, learn all you want, it will never be good enough for those mood swings," Josh replied.
"Hey!" Reva and Harley both responded, laughing.
"Well, he's doing pretty good with my mood swings so far," Harley said as she wrapped her arm around his waist and kissed his cheek.
"When are you due?" Reva asked.
"November 30th," Harley answered.
"Wow, two new Coopers in one year. I don't know if the world is ready for that," Josh teased.
"Poor Matthew isn't going to get the spotlight to himself for very long," Reva said.
"Oh, this family has enough love for both of them," Gus replied. "Speaking of which, I haven't held my nephew all day long. I'm going to go steal him from Frank," he said then went over and got the baby from Frank.
"Can I go with Daddy?" Zach asked and Harley helped him down from the stool.
"Gus seems excited," Reva noted.
"He is so excited. I mean, we both are, but this is Gus's first child and everything is so new and exciting to him. It is so great to watch him go through everything," Harley replied. "And he is such a great uncle to Matthew. He constantly wants to be holding him or feeding him or doing anything with the baby."
"That's cute though, like he wants the practice," Reva said as they looked over at Gus who just put a bottle in Matthew's mouth.
"Yeah, he is going to be a great father."
"Looks like he already is," Reva replied as Gus pulled Zach close to his side and kissed the top of his head.
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Post by Jen on Jan 13, 2005 21:18:34 GMT -5
"Do you think I look fat?" Harley asked Gus as she stood in front of the mirror in her new bathing suit the morning of the barbeque.
"Honey, I thought we agreed a long time ago that you would never ask me that question," Gus answered from the bathroom door.
"Well that was before I gained ten pounds in a week," she replied.
"You didn’t gain ten pounds, and you don't look fat," he finally said as he came up behind her and put his arms around her waist. "You look like a happy, glowing, skinny, beautiful woman…who's four months pregnant," he added and she hit him.
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“Harley!” they heard Phillip yell as the three of them walked into the Bauer kitchen.
“Phillip. Hi,” she replied as she and Gus turned around.
“Hi Daddy,” Zach greeted his father.
“Hi son, hey…why didn’t you tell me that you were pregnant? I mean, I had to find out from Rick!” Phillip said.
“Well, we weren’t really telling people before this week, and since we haven’t seen you…” she replied.
“Don’t you think I should have been one of the first people you told?”
“And why is that?” Gus asked as he lifted Zach up onto the counter beside him.
“Well, I am your ex-husband and the father of your son,” Phillip answered to Harley.
“Yes, ex as in ‘no longer’. And what does you being Zach’s father have to do with this baby?” she asked.
“I just think you should have told me.”
“Well, I don’t think so. And you know now, so what’s the problem?” she replied.
“Forget about it,” Phillip sneered and left the house with his hands on his hips.
“God, he is such a…”
“Honey,” Gus stopped her before she said anything in front of Zach.
“Let’s go out to the backyard. Come on sweetie,” she said as she helped Zach jump off the counter.
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"Hey guys,” Kevin Davis and his wife greeted them when they got to the backyard and Zach ran off with their son, Stephen.
“Congratulations on the baby!” Kevin’s wife, Danielle said as she hugged Harley. “That’s so great!”
“Thank you,” Harley and Gus both replied.
“How was your trip?” Danielle asked.
“Oh, it was wonderful!” Harley answered.
“We need to get together,” Kevin said. “Maybe in a few weeks, you guys can come over for a cookout and the boys can play together.”
“That sounds great, we’ll definitely have to work that out,” Gus replied.
“Great, well we have to go. Have some more picnics to go to. See you guys at the station,” Kevin said, shaking Gus’s hand.
“See ya,” he and Harley replied then went off to find their friends.
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Gus's thoughts drifted away from Rick's story and landed on Harley who he saw talking to Michelle and Bill. After she finished her conversation, she turned around to look for Gus and saw him staring at her, so she walked over to where he was sitting with Ross, Rick, Phillip, Josh, Billy and Richard, smoking cigars.
He pushed his chair back when he saw her coming and she stood in front of him and ran her fingers through his hair. He smiled up at her and she covered his mouth in a kiss.
"Hey, hey, no women allowed!" Rick protested.
"I think the rule is no women allowed unless they've dated and/or married at least three men in the group," Harley joked.
"Well then pull up a chair," Billy replied. "And get Reva over here too."
"That's okay, I think I like my spot right here. Don't mind us, boys," she said as she slid her hands over Gus's shoulders.
He set his cigar in an ashtray and put his arms around her waist, pulling her close. He held onto her for a few moments, then pulled his head back. He pushed the bottom of her shirt up a little bit to reveal her growing stomach and placed a soft kiss on it.
"Wanna go for a swim?" he asked and she nodded since the pool was pretty much free since Cassie had all the little kids playing games and the teenagers were in the hot tub.
"Susan, you are so lucky to live in the same house as him. He is so hot!" one of the other girls in the hot tub said.
"Who, Gus?" she asked.
"Yes! The sexy cop who's undressing himself over there," she practically drooled.
"Oh," Susan shrugged.
"What, you don't think he's hot?"
"He's married to my mom!" Susan replied, mortified.
"I'm still crushing. Your mom is the luckiest woman alive. Besides, it's not like he's your dad."
"Well, he is to me," Susan said.
"This water is freezing!" Gus exclaimed when he stepped onto the stairs.
Harley was already completely in the water so she took advantage of being able to tease him.
"Wuss, it's not that cold."
"It is that cold."
"Well if you hurry up and get in here, I'll make sure to warm you up," she winked.
Gus weighed his options: stand on the stairs alone shivering or get in the pool and shiver next to Harley. It wasn't a difficult decision. He was covered in water up to his waist in a matter of seconds.
"So, get over here, a promise is a promise," he beckoned.
"You get over here," she said as she put her hand out to him.
He walked forward and took her hand. When he reached her, he wrapped his arms around her waist as hers went around his neck.
She leaned in and gave him a small peck on the lips, "Warmer?" she asked.
"A little bit, but not warm enough," he replied and she kissed him again, a little longer and deeper.
"Better. Keep going."
This time when she kissed him, her tongue slid into his mouth and Gus moaned into her mouth.
"Now that's more like it," he replied when they broke the kiss.
They weren't alone in the pool long before the rest of the couples joined them.
"Let's play some volleyball," Bill said, enunciating the syllables.
"Boys against girls," Cassie suggested.
"Boys against girls? What are we, in Junior High?" Blake teased. "Let's do couples."
"No, cause Richard won't get in, he's expecting a call," Cassie argued.
"So get another guy to play, that way the teams will be even," Blake replied. "Frank! Wanna play some volleyball?" she called when she saw Frank walk by.
Amanda was in the house taking a nap with Matthew so Frank took off his shirt and jumped in.
"There, now we're even," Blake said.
They broke up into teams with Gus, Harley, Blake, Ross, Cassie and Frank on one team and Josh, Reva, Michelle, Bill, Phillip and Beth on the other. It took awhile for them to get a good volley started, but once they did, it turned into a competitive game.
After they played a few games, they decided it was time for a break and most of them got out of the pool.
"Let's go lay out in the yard," Gus suggested as he handed Harley her towel and she followed him out to an empty spot in the grass where they laid out their towels and stretched out on them.
Harley turned on her side and nestled against Gus's chest.
"Don't let me fall asleep or I'll fry," she said.
"Then I'll have the weirdest tan lines ever," he joked as he rubbed her arm that was laying across his chest and she laughed.
"I like this." he said a few minutes later.
"What?"
"This feeling I have."
"What feeling is that?" she wondered.
"I don't know…I can't think of a word to describe it. Like everything is perfect. We're perfect, the kids are perfect, the baby's perfect…complete. That's it. I feel complete, and I have since I met you, and I didn't feel that way for a long time," he said as he kissed the top of her head.
"Well I hope you never feel incomplete again," she replied.
"Not a chance. Nothing can touch us now, baby," he said as he linked his fingers through hers.
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Post by Jen on Jan 13, 2005 21:19:23 GMT -5
"Harley, Gus, we're so glad you could join us tonight. Hi Zach," Davis's wife greeted them as they walked into the backyard and Zach ran off to play with their son who he knew well.
"Thank you for inviting us," Harley replied. "We brought some wine. I can't drink it, but at least the rest of you can," she laughed.
“Thank you,” Danielle replied and motioned for them to sit at the patio table by the pool.
“So how were things at the station today?” Kevin asked, “Anything interesting happen?”
“Hey, no shop talk tonight, okay?” Danielle said, her hand on her husband’s arm.
“She doesn’t like to hear about work. She worries about me,” he explained.
“Of course she does,” Harley replied.
“Probably like Harley worries about Gus when she’s not with him,” Danielle added.
“Even when I am with him,” Harley corrected as she threaded her fingers through Gus’s.
“Women worry if they don’t have anything to worry about, so I let her worry about me,” Gus said, “cause I worry about her too.”
“See honey, aren’t you glad I have a nice, safe job?” Danielle asked, “Harley, maybe you should think about being a stay at home mom. Or maybe Gus could be a stay at home dad.”
Harley laughed, “Well, I have thought about it…”
“You have?” Gus asked, surprised.
“Sorry,” Danielle cringed.
“It’s okay,” Harley assured her. “Well, yeah, I mean, I will be for awhile after the baby is born. And it’s something we do need to talk about. I mean, it’s dangerous having us both on the job with two young kids.”
“It’s dangerous with one,” Gus replied.
“I know,” she said quietly. “We’ll talk about this later.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” Danielle began.
“Don’t worry about it,” Gus stopped her. “Let’s just change the subject.”
“Great. Tell us all about your trip,” Danielle suggested. “Did you bring pictures?”
“We did,” Harley answered as she pulled an envelope of pictures out of her purse. “We didn’t take very many.”
“That are fit for public viewing,” Gus continued.
“He wishes,” Harley laughed as she moved her chair so she could show Danielle the pictures.
“So you had a good time?” Kevin asked.
“We had a great time. We haven’t had a whole lot of time alone since Susan came home, so it was nice, just the two of us,” Gus answered.
“Yeah, cause that probably won’t happen again for awhile,” Harley added.
“Mom,” Kevin and Danielle’s son came over to the table with Zach beside him, “Can we go swimming?” he asked.
“Sure,” Danielle answered. “Did you bring your suit Zach?” she asked and he nodded.
“Come on Zach, I’ll go with you to change,” Gus said as he pulled Zach swim shorts out of the bag they brought.
“Maybe our dads will swim with us,” Stephen suggested.
“Will you?” Zach asked as he looked up at Gus, who looked over at Kevin.
“Did you bring your suit?” he asked Gus.
Harley pulled Gus’s suit out of the bag and handed it to him, “Yes he did,” she smiled.
“Would you ladies like to join us?” Kevin asked.
“Oh not me,” Harley answered, “I don’t do bathing suits in public anymore,” she laughed.
Gus rolled his eyes at Kevin, “Let’s go change,” he said to Zach again and the four guys went into the house.
“Feeling a little self-conscious?” Danielle asked Harley.
“Just a little bit, yeah,” she nodded.
“When I first started showing with Stephen, I wouldn’t let Kevin see me naked for like three months,” Danielle said. “He hated that,” she laughed.
“Well, I’m not that self-conscious,” Harley laughed. “I actually think Gus would like to have me naked all the time, except for those pesky laws we have against public nudity.”
Danielle laughed as the guys came back outside.
“Yeah, but I certainly don’t mind see him in his bathing suit,” Harley added as Gus pulled off his t-shirt and threw it at her laughing.
The boys played in the pool while Harley and Danielle worked the grill, getting their food ready.
“No wonder they were so happy to swim with the kids. They didn’t want to have to cook,” Danielle said as she threw some hot dogs on to the grill.
Harley laughed, “Yeah, Gus would rather be a kid than cook usually.”
“So would Kevin,” Danielle said. “He loves being a father, he loves playing with Stephen. He’s teaching him how to ride a two- wheeler right now, and I swear, I have seen him tear up more with Stephen on that bike then ever in his life. He wants to have another baby, I think we’re going to start trying.”
“That’s great,” Harley smiled. “And Stephen should have a brother or a sister. And that would be great, three new babies at the station?”
“Yeah, I think we’re definitely going to do it,” Danielle nodded. “Guys, food is ready!” she called out and the boys scrambled out of the pool.
“I’m starving!” Zach exclaimed.
“Me too!” Stephen added and they wrapped their towels around themselves and took a seat at the table.
“Here you go boys,” Kevin said as he placed juice boxes in front of them and Gus went to get them hot dogs.
“Okay, I know Zach wants ketchup,” he said as he squirted a line of ketchup on Zach’s hotdog and handed the plate to him, “What about you Stephen?”
“Ketchup too, please,” he replied politely.
“Easy enough,” Gus said and sat his plate down too.
“You guys want burgers?” Danielle asked Gus and Kevin.
“Yeah,” they both answered and Gus came up behind Harley who was tossing a salad for them.
He kissed her neck and she shivered when she felt his wet body against hers.
“You’re soaking wet!” she exclaimed and pulled away from him.
“That’s what you get for not coming in with us,” he teased as he grabbed her around the waist and pulled her back to him. She gave in and wrapped her arms around his neck as she kissed him. “I love you,” he said quietly.
“I love you too,” she replied. “Why are you being so mushy lately?” she asked, laughing.
“I don’t know, I just…I want to make sure you always know how much I love you,” he answered.
“I know, sweetie,” she assured him with another kiss then carried the salad over to the table while the rest of them got their burgers.
Harley sat next to Zach and Gus brought her over a plate with a hamburger on it. “Thanks,” she said as he sat in the chair next to her and started putting condiments on his own burger.
“So have you guys thought of any names yet?” Danielle asked as she and Kevin joined them at the table.
“Well, we know if it’s a boy, he will be Nicholas Joseph, after Gus and his father,” Harley answered.
“And if it’s a girl?” Kevin asked.
“Well…” Harley began.
“That name is still up for debate,” Gus finished. “We have a few in mind, but nothing for sure.”
“So what do you want, Zach? A brother or a sister?” Kevin asked him and he shrugged.
Harley and Gus looked at each other, then Harley explained, “Zach’s not really sure about this whole thing yet…”
“Oh…” Danielle replied.
“Yeah, we’re hoping that changes soon,” Harley added.
“I’m sure it will,” Danielle said, and Harley and Gus looked at each other doubtfully.
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Post by Jen on Jan 13, 2005 21:19:51 GMT -5
“Where is Franklin? Let’s get this meeting started,” Gus complained as he handed Harley a cup of coffee and sat next to her at the conference table.
“Where are Frank and John?” Harley asked, “aren’t they supposed to be here too?”
“I think they got called out,” Kevin answered.
“Oh,” Harley said as Franklin finally came into the room.
“Hey guys, sorry I’m late. Cooper and Castelli had to go check out a bank robbery on Twelfth, so they won’t be joining us,” he informed them and took a seat. “I just have some things the Commissioner wanted me to go over with you all…” he began, but was interrupted by his cell phone.
“Franklin…backup’s on the way,” he said then hung up. “That was Cooper, robbery turned into a hostage situation. Let’s go,” he said as he pulled his jacket back on and everyone rushed out of the conference room.
“Harley, you stay here,” he instructed and turned to give the rest orders.
“Wait, what?” she asked, surprised.
“You stay here,” he repeated. “Look, a pregnant cop? This guy sees you, and you’re the first he wants his hands on. Stay here, and hand out other calls as they come in.”
“Chief!” she protested.
“These guys can handle it, Harley. Don’t take this personally, it’s just the safest thing for you and the baby,” he explained.
“Honey, please?” Gus pleaded and kissed her quickly.
“Be careful,” she warned and he nodded.
“I will,” he promised then followed the rest of the guys out of the station.
Harley thought about their conversation at Kevin and Danielle’s house a few weeks ago, and she couldn’t help but worry. She hated that she couldn’t be there with Gus, but she knew that Franklin was right. She sighed as she sat at her desk, turned on her scanner and tried to get some work done. She listened as the backup joined Frank and John outside of the bank and they were filled in on the situation.
The perp was holding, ironically, a pregnant woman hostage inside and wanted the cops to back off. Franklin passed out orders and they surrounded the building. After a few minutes of trying to negotiate with the perp, he decided to send some guys in.
“Alright, Aitoro, Cooper, Davis and Castelli, you’re going in,” she heard Franklin say. “Aitoro and Davis from the East and Cooper and Castelli from the West. No shots unless you have to. Save that woman and get the perp in custody. On my order,” he finished and she knew the guys went to their spots around the bank.
Her stomach did a flip-flop at the idea of her husband and brother going into such a dangerous situation, but she knew they would do their jobs.
“Don’t come any closer!” she heard the perp call out when the guys got into the bank. “Put your guns down!” he ordered.
“You know we can’t do that,” she heard Gus reply.
“I’ll kill her,” the perp warned.
“You have four guns trained on you,” Gus continued, “You kill her, you’ll be full of bullets before she hits the ground. What good will that do you?”
“What if I kill you instead?” the perp asked.
“He’s got the gun on Aitoro,” she heard Frank say through his wire and she gasped.
“Same thing, bullets from three guns is just as bad as four,” Gus answered. “Put the gun down, let the lady go, and you won’t get slapped with a homicide rap in addition to armed robbery.”
“No way, I’d rather die than go to jail. If I die, I’m taking one of you down with me,” he insisted.
“Don’t do anything stupid, buddy,” Gus said.
“I’m not your buddy.”
“No, you’re not, especially when you got that gun on me,” Gus replied.
“How about now? Or now? Or now?” the perp asked as he moved the gun from Gus to Kevin, to Frank, to John. “Which one of you guys are going to hell with me?”
“No one has to die here. Put the gun down and we can talk about this,” Gus said.
“You don’t want to talk to me, you want to arrest me. Well that’s not gonna happen!” the perp yelled and Harley heard a gunshot and some struggling.
“Get a bus here now! We have a man down, I repeat, man down!” she heard John yell over his radio and her heart sank in her chest.
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Post by Jen on Jan 13, 2005 21:21:26 GMT -5
Harley switched off her scanner and rushed out to her car. She tried to start the engine but realized she was hyperventilating. Her hands gripped the steering wheel and she breathed deeply.
“Please God, not Gus or Frank,” she pleaded and finally started the car and sped towards the hospital.
She didn’t even bother parking her car, she pulled up to the curb and jumped out, leaving her flashers on, and ran into the Emergency Room.
She felt a weight lift off of her shoulders when she saw Gus looking into the window of the ER room.
“Oh, thank God!” she said as he turned around and she rushed into his arms.
“Baby, I just tried to call you,” he said as he hugged her.
“I am so glad you’re okay,” she added as she pulled back from him and saw his eyes filled with tears. “What? Who?…oh god is that Frank?” Harley asked, her voice wavering as she looked through the window.
“No, no baby, it’s not Frank. Frank’s fine,” Gus said as he hugged her again and stroked her hair. “He went to call Danielle…Harley, it’s Kevin.”
“Oh my God…how bad is it?” she asked.
“It’s bad,” Gus answered as he took her hand and led her over to the couch. “He was shot in the chest, they don’t know if he’s going to make it.”
“Why wasn’t he wearing a vest?” Harley asked.
“He was, but he got shot right below his neck, right above the vest,” Gus explained. “He just went down, and he was bleeding so much…” he continued as he stood up and walked back to the window.
“Honey…” Harley said as she followed him over and turned him back to face her. She looked down at his vest and saw it was stained with Kevin’s blood. She pushed his holster over his shoulders and laid it over the back of a couch.
“I am so sorry about Kevin. And I’m sorry that you were there with him when he got shot,” she began as she unbuttoned his vest slowly. “But I was so afraid when I heard that gunshot. I thought I would get here and you would be the one in there. And if that would have happened, I don’t know what I would do, I’m just so thankful that you weren’t hurt too,” she finished as he shrugged out of his vest and pulled her into a hug.
“I’m so glad you didn’t go with us. If that was you…” he replied, but the lump in his throat stopped him from continuing and he buried his face in her neck.
John and Franklin came back into the hospital, and saw Gus and Harley in an embrace so gave them some time.
Harley pulled away and put his face in her hands, “How are you? Really?”
Gus shook his hand and kissed her hand, “Feeling pretty guilty.”
“Sweetie, it’s not your fault,” she assured him but they were interrupted when Frank came back to the waiting room.
“Danielle’s on her way,” he said as Franklin and John came over to the other three and Harley stepped away from Gus long enough to hug her brother and make sure he was okay too.
“How’s he doing?” Franklin asked Gus who was rubbing his eyes.
“Uh, I don’t know. Rick hasn’t come out yet,” he answered.
“How was Danielle?” Harley asked Frank.
“She was pretty much freaking out. Her mom was there with her. They’re leaving Stephen with a neighbor and coming over. I just hope there’s good news waiting for her,” he answered.
“We all do,” Franklin added as he looked past them into the room where the doctors were working on Kevin. “Harley, is that your car out front?” he asked, changing the subject.
“Oh yeah, I should go move it,” she answered.
“I’ll move it. I’m going to wait for Danielle outside anyway,” Frank said and Harley handed him her keys.
Gus put his holster back on and sat down on a couch with his head in his hands. Harley looked over at him sadly and wondered if she should try to console him. She knew he was feeling guilty about Kevin. She also knew he was reliving the day his father was shot, but she didn’t know if he wanted her there beside him or if he needed space. She finally decided she didn’t care what he wanted and sat down beside him, rubbing his back.
“Do you need anything? Coffee? Chocolate?” she asked.
“You,” he answered quietly as he looked over at her.
“You got me,” she replied with a kiss.
“Thank god,” he said and pulled her close to him.
When Frank led a panicked Danielle and her mother into the waiting room ten minutes later, they still hadn’t heard anything about Kevin’s condition.
“How is he? What happened?” she asked.
“We don’t know yet,” Harley replied as she got up and hugged Danielle. “Rick should be out soon though, we’ll see if we can get a nurse to talk to you,” she added and motioned Frank to go find a nurse. “Where is Stephen?” she asked.
“He’s with a neighbor,” Danielle answered, looking into the window.
“Okay, do you want me to go get him? I can take him to our house, he can play with Zach and stay with our sitter until we go home,” Harley offered.
“No, he’s okay there for now. I want you guys here,” Danielle replied with tears in her eyes.
“We’re all here,” Harley assured her with an arm around her shoulders.
“She’s good at this stuff,” Gus said quietly to John. “She always has been.”
“Probably the wife and mother in her, you know?” John replied. “Or maybe she’s just doing what she would want someone to do for her if that was you in there. How are you?”
“Physically?”
“Or otherwise. I know you and Kevin were friends.”
Gus nodded, “I just want him to be okay,” he said as he went and sat back down.
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Post by Jen on Jan 13, 2005 21:21:39 GMT -5
Rick and Mel came out five minutes later, and everyone gathered around Danielle, waiting for news.
“How he is, can I see him?” Danielle asked.
“Uh, he got shot about right here,” Rick pointed to a spot towards the center of his chest, right below his right collarbone. “The bullet shattered his ribs around that area and his collarbone, and it hit the carotid artery. We got the bullet out, but there was nothing we could do. I’m sorry,” he finished somberly.
“No, no, no,” Danielle cried, shaking her head and Harley let her go into her mother’s arms then turned around, looking for Gus.
He had been standing beside her when Rick and Mel came out and reached for her hand when she turned to him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and melted into his body. He kissed the top of her head and gave her a little squeeze, grateful she was safe in his arms.
“I want to see him,” Danielle insisted and Mel led her into the room.
“Rick…did he uh, I mean, he was still breathing at the bank. Was there something we should have done?” Gus asked.
“No. There was nothing anyone could have done. It’s just one of those things we can’t fix,” Rick answered then turned to Danielle’s mother, “I’m sorry,” he said then went over to the nurse’s station.
“I’m going to call the station, let everyone know,” Franklin said.
“I’m going to call Amanda,” Frank said and went outside.
Danielle’s mother sat down on one of the couches and Harley sat beside her, asking if there was anything she could do.
“No, thank you. But thank you for being here for Danielle. She told me you both were good friends with Kevin,” her mother said.
“Honey, I’m going to call home and make sure Sarah can stay a little longer with Zach. Would you like me to call and check on Stephen?” Gus asked.
“Oh please,” Danielle’s mother replied and gave him the name of the neighbor and Gus went outside.
He called to check on Stephen first and made sure his sitter could keep him until further notice after he told her about Kevin. She told Gus to give Danielle her love and not to worry about Stephen, that she would take care of him as long as necessary.
After he was done with her, he called home and talked to their sitter, Sarah, then talked to Zach for a few minutes.
“When are you and Mommy coming home? You promised we could go to Chuck E. Cheese tonight,” Zach asked.
“I know we did, buddy, but we have to take care of some stuff at work. If we don’t go tonight, I promise we’ll go soon, okay? Be good for Sarah and Mommy and I will be home as soon as we can. I love you,” Gus replied.
“Love you too. Bye Daddy,” Zach said then hung up.
When Gus got back inside, Danielle’s mother had gone in with Danielle and Frank and Harley were sitting in the waiting room. He went up behind them and wrapped his arms around Harley’s neck.
“Everything okay?” she asked.
“Yeah, Stephen’s fine and Zach reminded me that the three of us have a Chuck E. Cheese date tonight,” he replied as he kissed her neck.
“Oh right,” Harley said as Gus sat on a chair beside the couch. “Did you tell him we might have to postpone that?”
“I did. But maybe we could still go, and take Stephen with us, so Danielle can take care of things,” he suggested.
“I think that would be good,” Harley nodded as Danielle and her mother came out of the room.
“Mom said that you called and checked on Stephen,” she said to Gus after he hugged her.
“I did. He’s fine, blissfully ignorant. I told your neighbor, but she said she would keep him as long as you need her too,” he answered.
“Thank you,” she replied. “I should call, but I don’t know how long I’ll be. And what am I supposed to tell Stephen?” she cried.
“You don’t have to tell him anything yet, sweetie,” her mother told her.
“He’s going to know something’s wrong, Mom.”
“Well, you don’t have to tell him today, Danielle. Why don’t you take some time to deal with this first,” Harley suggested. “We can keep Stephen for the night.”
“Are you sure?” Danielle asked.
“Absolutely. We promised Zach we would take him to Chuck E. Cheese tonight and he would love if Stephen came too. They will have a blast. That way, you have the night to do what you need to do,” Harley said.
“Thank you,” Danielle said as she hugged Harley. “I need to go call so many people and take care of so many things. Thank you guys so much for being here.”
“Of course, if you need anything, call us, okay? We’ll go get Stephen after work,” Gus said.
“Thanks,” Danielle said and she and her mother disappeared to make arrangements and calls.
Later at the station, everyone tried to get work done, but it was impossible. Harley called Danielle’s neighbor to tell her they would be taking Stephen and Gus passed the time doodling on an old rap sheet.
“Gus is really taking this hard, huh?” John asked Frank as he looked over at Gus.
“Yeah, he is. He and Kevin were good friends. And I think he feels a little guilty, even though he shouldn’t. And it doesn’t help that this isn’t the first person he’s lost on the job,” Frank answered.
“What do you mean?”
“When Gus was a kid, he saw his dad get shot and die. He wasn’t on a call, but he got killed because of his job. Gus has never really gotten over that, and this just opens up the old wounds, you know?” Frank replied.
John nodded and got up from his desk. He asked Gus if he wanted some coffee, but Gus waved him off with an “I’m fine.”
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Harley smiled when she saw Gus laughing with Zach and Stephen while they jumped around in the plastic balls at Chuck E. Cheese later that night. Kevin’s death had hit him hard, but he put on a good face for the boys, and she was glad to see him happy for a little while. The second Stephen got in the car with them earlier, he was like a different man from the station. He was making jokes, and keeping Stephen occupied, and ran all over the restaurant with the boys, but she knew as soon as they were both asleep, he would be hit with demons from that morning and from his past. She caught his eye when the pizza came and he chased the boys back to the table.
“Mommy, can we play some games after we eat?” Zach asked.
“You bet,” she answered.
“I wanna play that game where you hit the frogs on the head,” Stephen giggled.
“Yeah!” Zach nodded in agreement and he got pizza sauce all over his face
They four of them finished the pizza in no time at all and the boys were ready to go win some tickets. They dragged Gus and Harley with then to the frog game and each grabbed a hammer. About halfway through the game, Gus and Harley ended up helping them hit the frogs and more and more tickets came out for them.
After two hours of playing games and making sure they hit all of the rides, Gus and Harley were exhausted, but the boys were still going strong and Zach whined the whole way home.
After their baths and a story, Zach fell right asleep and Stephen tried to get comfortable on the floor beside Zach’s bed.
“When am I going home?” he asked Gus and Harley.
“What, you’re not having fun with us?” Gus asked.
“Yeah, but I miss my Mommy and Daddy,” he replied.
“I know. You’ll go home tomorrow though. You okay?” Gus asked and Stephen nodded.
“Alright. We’re right down the hall if you need anything. Good night,” Harley said before shutting the door a little bit.
“Do you want to go downstairs for a while or do you want to go to bed?” Harley asked.
“Bed,” Gus answered, “I’ll go lock up,” he said then disappeared downstairs while Harley went and got ready for bed.
When he returned to their room, Harley was putting a slip on and he sat on the bed and took off his shoes as he watched her change.
“Have I told you how beautiful you are lately? And how lucky I am to have you?” he asked.
“Not in the last hour or so,” she replied with a smile as she turned around and stood in front of him.
“You are beautiful. And I am so lucky to have you.”
“Well, I’m lucky too. And I want you to talk to me, okay? I know today brought up a lot of stuff about your dad, and I want you to know that I’m here for you,” she said.
“I know,” he nodded. “But I don’t want to do that right now. That little boy just lost his father and he doesn’t even know it yet. The last thing I want is for him to hear it when he shouldn’t. There will be plenty of time for us to talk, but for tonight, I just want to crawl into this bed and hold you in my arms. And I want to know that tomorrow when I wake up, you’ll still be beside me.”
“Where else would I be?” she asked as she leaned down and kissed him softly before he changed and they crawled into bed together.
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Post by Jen on Jan 13, 2005 21:22:39 GMT -5
Gus woke up with a start and realized he was sweating. He fought to catch his breath and Harley stirred in his arms. He closed his eyes and tried to remember what he was dreaming about that woke him up.
He was ten again. His dad handed him a dollar and told him to keep the change. He ran over to the ice-cream truck parked at the corner. He turned around and looked back at his father. He saw Miguel Santos, who smiled at him. He saw Miguel’s gun go off and he saw his father fall to the ground. He ran back to his dad and a cop held him back, but he saw the man on the ground, bleeding and dying. But this time it wasn’t his father, it was Kevin.
Gus rubbed his eyes and kissed Harley’s forehead before he rolled her over and sat up on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands. He had that same nightmare every night since Kevin died. He got up and walked down the hallway to Zach’s room and made sure he was asleep and covered up before he made his way downstairs.
Harley woke when she he rolled her over, but she didn’t let him know she was awake. She knew where he was going. The past three nights, he always woke up, sat on the edge of the bed for a few minutes, then went to Zach’s room and finally downstairs, where he stayed until the sun came up then he crawled back in bed beside Harley, thinking she was oblivious to his absence.
She never said anything to him about his sleepless nights. She was hoping they would work themselves out, but three nights later, they still hadn’t. She decided she would talk to him after the funeral in the morning, and tried to go back to sleep. Unfortunately, Gus’s sleepless nights meant sleepless nights for Harley, which led to two cranky parents to deal with Zach, who at least had learned over the last few days to stay out of trouble.
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“Well, I think it’s safe to say my dress uniform is officially too small for me and this baby,” Harley laughed as she hung the pants back in her closet and pulled out a black dress to put on instead.
“Hmm?” Gus asked as he flipped through the channels on the TV.
Harley looked back at him and sighed.
“Alright, I was going to wait until after the funeral to do this, but I can’t stand this anymore,” she said.
“What are you talking about?” Gus asked and continued flipping channels.
“This,” she replied, pointing at him. “You and this remote,” she added as she ripped it out of his hand and shut off the TV. “You and Kevin, you and your dad, you not sleeping, you not talking to me!”
“I talk to you,” he refuted without emotion.
“What, two words? And only to answer my questions?”
“So I’m not in a talkative mood, it’s happened before.”
“Yeah, it has, and usually over the same thing as now: your dad. Sweetie, I understand, I just wish you would talk to me,” Harley pleaded as she sat on the bed next to him.
“I have to get a shower,” he replied, avoiding her plea and crawling out of bed, heading into the bathroom.
“Gus…I’m worried about you,” Harley said, but was met with the bathroom door closing in her face.
Harley sighed and looked up at the ceiling, “Can you help me out with this one, Joe?” she asked aloud, then finished getting ready when she heard the water running in the shower.
After she got ready, she got Zach up and dressed for the day. They were downstairs in the kitchen when Gus came down in his dress uniform, minus his jacket, which is tossed on the back of a chair as he entered the room.
“Morning Daddy,” Zach greeted, jumping off his chair.
“Good morning, buddy,” Gus replied as he swung Zach into the air and kissed his cheek.
“I get to go to Aunt Amanda’s today and help with the baby!” Zach exclaimed.
“I know. You are a very lucky boy,” Gus said as he put Zach down. “Finish your cereal,” he instructed and walked over to the sink where Harley was standing with her back to them, doing dishes.
Gus rolled up his sleeves, grabbed a dishtowel and started drying the plates in the drainer.
“You mad at me?” he asked quietly when Harley barely acknowledged his presence beside her.
“I’m not mad at you, I’m worried about you,” she answered.
“You don’t have to be…”
“Don’t give me that,” she interrupted. “I’m your wife, I know when something is bothering you, and I know when I should be worried.”
“It’s just…it’s something I need to work out, okay?” he said as he turned around and leaned against the counter, crossing his arms.
“Then let me help you,” she pleaded, her hand on his arm, resting her chin on his shoulder.
“We’ll talk later, I promise,” he replied as he kissed her forehead and started to walk away.
She pulled him back to her in a hug, “I just want you to be okay, I love you.”
“I love you too,” he replied, “And it will be, I just need some time. And you.”
“You got me,” she said then kissed him softly. “You have me, and Susan, and Zach, and Moonbeam,” she teased and finally got a smile from Gus.
“I know,” he nodded.
“I wish I could fix all of this. I wish I could bring your dad and Kevin back,” she said.
“You can’t, but I love you for wishing you could,” he smiled and kissed her forehead before he joined Zach at the table.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Harley climbed into the backseat of Frank's car with Gus and Frank got in the driver's seat.
"What am I, your chauffer?" he teased, looking back at them.
"Well, you're picking up Franklin at the station, right?" Harley asked.
"Yeah, but..."
"But nothing, I want to talk to my husband," she explained as she scooted over into the middle of the seat so she was right next to Gus.
Frank shook his head, "Whatever. Don't let me interrupt, I'm only the chauffer," he teased as he turned on the radio and pulled away from the house.
"Honey, not now," Gus protested quietly.
"No, I don't want to talk about that right now," she assured him, linking her fingers with his. "I just want to be close to you. I feel like I haven't been the last few days."
Gus let go of her hand and put his arm around her, pulling her close, "I'm sorry baby," he apologized, kissing her cheek.
“Do you want me to see if Dad can take Zach for the night? So we can be alone?” she asked and he nodded, his forehead against hers.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The picked up Franklin and drove in the procession from the funeral home to the cemetery with the rest of Kevin’s family, friends, and co-workers. They stood with the other cops from their precinct and Gus’s white-gloved hand wiped a tear off of his cheek when Stephen got up and placed a rose on his father’s coffin. Harley put her arm around him and let her own tears fall for her friend, as well as for her husband.
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Post by Jen on Jan 13, 2005 21:23:03 GMT -5
“I’ve been having these dreams…” Gus began, later that day as he and Harley sat on the couch in their living room.
Harley nodded and shut the TV off, “About what?” she asked.
“They’re always basically the same. You know, I’m ten again, and standing on the street where my father died. He gives me some money, I go to the ice cream truck, I hear a gunshot, I turn around and run back to him. Sometimes it’s him. Sometimes it’s Kevin. But you know what the worst one is? When it’s you,” he answered himself. “I have lost too many people this way, and I hate knowing that I could lose you that way too. I hate knowing I could be killed this way.”
“Honey, that’s part of our job. It’s a risk, every day, every call,” Harley said.
“So why do we do it?” he asked.
“Why? To get those bad guys who do that stuff. To get justice,” she answered.
“Look at all the great things Kevin did. Look at how many criminals he put behind bars, how many murders he solved, how many times he helped an old lady cross the street. And look at how he died! Leaving a wife and a little boy alone. Is that justice?” he argued.
“No. It’s horrible, and it’s unfair, but Kevin knew that was a risk, and so did your dad, Gus. What we do isn’t pretty, but what if we didn’t do it? What if all of us weren’t cops? What justice would there be then?”
“Sometimes I just wonder if it’s worth it…” he said quietly.
“Being a cop?” she asked and he nodded, “What are thinking? I mean, are you thinking of quitting?”
“I don’t know. Sometimes I think that would be the smartest thing to do. Quit my job, take the bar, have a nice cushy job as a lawyer,” he replied.
“Well, you could do that, if that’s what you want,” Harley said as she kissed his cheek.
“Is it?”
“You know I can’t answer that for you.”
Gus shook his head, “It’s not. I know it’s not. I love my job. I love solving crimes, I love putting the bad guys in jail, I just hate how dangerous it is.”
“I know, but you know, you could get killed any time. I mean, you could be crossing the street and get hit by a bus or something. You get into a car accident and die. It’s always possible,” Harley said.
“God, that’s depressing,” Gus replied, with a slight laugh to ease the tension. “I really need to let this go, you know?”
“Gus, he was your dad, and Kevin was your friend. No one expects you to get over that,” Harley assured him with a kiss. “I love you, and I am here for you all the time okay?” she said and he kissed her again.
The kiss turned deep and Gus pulled her into his arms, “I love you too,” he replied with one last kiss before he led her upstairs to their bedroom.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
“You know I think I’m finally realizing something,” he said as he held Harley in his arms after they made love. “My life…it’s pretty damn good. I am in love with the most amazing woman in the world, and we have made this beautiful family together. When I think about my life, I think about the good things in it. You and Susan, Zach and this baby. My first thoughts aren’t how I lost my dad, they’re not how I can make the Santos family pay for what they did. I was never able to do that before you. You, this,” he continued as he kissed her hand, “is the best thing I’ve ever done. And I think I’m finally ready to put my past behind me. Completely. And really look forward to our future. There is so much good in my life right now, and there was so much good in my life with my dad. That’s the stuff I need to remember. I need to find peace. In my father’s death and Kevin’s…and I find that with you and the kids. And today, saying goodbye to Kevin, and tonight, laying here with you in my arms, I finally feel at peace.”
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Post by Jen on Jan 13, 2005 21:23:47 GMT -5
“And for the birthday boy, spaghetti and meatballs,” Gus said as he set a plate of spaghetti down in front of Zach and kissed the top of his head before going back to the stove with Harley.
“I can’t believe he’s five already! It seems like just yesterday we were having his third birthday party,” he said quietly.
“I know,” Harley nodded. “That was before you even moved in with us.”
“Amazing to think of how much has happened since then, huh? Some of it good, some of it bad…” he added.
“Yeah, but most of it was very good,” she smiled. “And it’s only going to get better.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Three weeks later, Harley sat down next to Gus in the lunchroom at the station, “Next weekend is Phillip’s weekend with Zach, so we can go to Chicago to the cemetery and not have to worry about him.”
“Oh. Actually, I don’t think I’m going to go this year. At least not at that day,” Gus replied.
“You don’t want to go? Honey, that’s always been a really important day for you.”
“I know. Every year, I spend the day he died at the cemetery feeling angry, sad and sorry for myself, but I don’t want to do that this year. I meant it when I said I finally found peace with his death, Harley. I want to spend that day with my family,” he explained.
“That sounds nice,” she said as she grabbed his tie and pulled him over for a kiss, “But it is Phillip’s weekend with Zach, and Susan, Tammy, Marina and Lizzie are all spending the weekend at the Bauer cabin…”
“Just the girls?” Gus asked skeptically as John and Frank joined their table and continued their own conversation.
“Just the girls. No boys allowed,” Harley assured him.
“Okay, so then it will just be me and you. I love the kids, but that sounds even better.”
“Good,” Harley smiled. “Do you want to stay in? Or we could go shopping and get started on the nursery,” she suggested.
“Yes, yes, let’s do that,” Gus nodded, “and that will be easier when we found out what we’re having on Thursday,” he added.
“I thought you didn’t want to know,” Frank interrupted, his conversation with John finished.
“We don’t,” Harley replied firmly. “Gus is just being impatient.”
“Well, it feels like you’ve been pregnant forever,” he protested.
“How do you think I feel?” she shot back. “And we still have three months to go.”
“Have you thought about names at all?” John asked and Gus and Harley smiled at each other.
“Well, we have a name for a boy. That one was easy. We’re having a little bit more trouble with the name for a girl,” Gus answered.
John smiled, “What’s they boy’s name?” he asked.
“Nicholas Joseph,” Harley answered. “Gus’s real name is Nicholas and his father’s name was Joseph.”
“Yeah I know,” John smiled. “He’s uh…mentioned that before. Good name. What’s the problem with the girl?”
“We just can’t decide on one,” Gus replied.
“Well, it will come to you,” John smiled.
“I just wish the baby would come to us!” Gus exclaimed, reaching over and touching Harley’s stomach. “Woah!” he pulled his hand back when he felt Harley’s stomach jump.
Harley smiled at him and put his hand back on her stomach, “You can feel him kicking?” she asked and he nodded.
“See! She wants to come out too!” Gus replied and Harley, Frank and John all laughed, but Gus was enamored with his first feelings of their baby’s kicks.
“I think his hand is going to be stuck to your stomach from now on,” John teased.
Gus looked up at him, “Can I help it I’m a proud papa-to-be?” he smiled.
“I think it’s very sweet,” Harley assured him with a kiss.
“I would expect nothing less,” John added and Frank smiled at the thought of another addition to their growing family.
“Hey did you guys get a new car yet?” Frank asked and Gus and Harley looked at each other.
“Something else to do Saturday,” Gus said and Harley nodded.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
“Hmmm,” Dr. Sedwick said as she moved the ultrasound probe over Harley’s stomach.
“Hmm? What hmm?” Harley asked as she and Gus looked at their baby on the screen.
“Is that a good hmm or a bad hmm?” Gus asked.
“No, it’s a ‘do you want to know the sex’ hmm?” Dr. Sedwick replied.
“Oh. No, we don’t, right honey?” Harley asked Gus who was peering at the screen.
“Hmm? Oh right,” he agreed and sat up, “But you…you can tell right now?” he asked Dr. Sedwick and she nodded. “Really?” he asked then looked closely at the screen again.
“So you know what it is?” Harley asked.
“I have a pretty good idea, yes,” Dr. Sedwick replied and Harley sat up to take a closer look.
“Well, you have better eyes than me then,” she shrugged and laid back down.
“I’ll point out the head and take a picture now, because we have a thumb-sucker on our hands,” Dr. Sedwick said as she traced the outline of the baby’s head and pointed out her thumb.
“Awww!” Harley gushed, “Honey, look how cute!”
“I see,” Gus replied with another smile.
“Is he moving around a lot?” Dr. Sedwick asked.
“He?” Gus asked.
“I will always call the baby ‘he’ unless all three of us know otherwise,” she replied.
Harley laughed, “Yeah, actually the last week or so, he’s been moving around a lot. Gus could actually feel him kicking this week,” she answered.
“Oh good, well everything looks great here with both of you, so keep doing what your doing. You’re right on schedule, so I would definitely start getting ready for this baby, because he’ll be here in three short months,” Dr. Sedwick told the glowing parents.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Gus and Harley spent all day Saturday looking for a new car for Gus. They had both decided on an SUV, since Gus didn’t want a minivan or station wagon and they wanted something big enough for all five of them. After four long hours and three different dealerships, they finally found what they were looking for and Gus drove home his brand new, black, four-wheel drive SUV.
The hours on her feet caught up to Harley and Gus sent her up to a warm bath while he started dinner. Harley came down to the kitchen refreshed and helped Gus finish dinner.
Harley was just setting the food on the table when the doorbell rang and Gus groaned.
"I wish everyone would just leave us alone for one night," he sighed as he finished filling their glasses with iced tea. "I'll get it and get rid of them," he said then went out into the living room to answer the door.
When he opened it, a very nervous looking John was on the other side.
"John, hey, what's up?" Gus asked.
"Uh, can I come in?" he asked, his voice shaky.
Gus had every intention of telling whoever was behind the door to come back later, but something about John's demeanor told Gus that this was important, so he invited him into the living room.
"Is Harley here?" John asked.
"Yeah, she's in the kitchen, we were just about eat...is there something wrong?" Gus asked.
"I need to tell you something and I think Harley should hear this too," John answered.
"Honey," Gus called loud enough for Harley to hear him, "Can you come out here?"
Harley appeared from the kitchen a few seconds later.
"What's going on?" she asked when she saw John.
"John has something he wants to tell us," Gus said warily.
"Oh god, is it Frank? Is he okay?" Harley panicked.
"Frank is fine. I'm sorry, it's not about Frank. This is about me. There's something that I haven't told you yet, and I think it's time that I did," he began.
Gus looked behind him at Harley, then back to John, "Okay."
"I know you have wondered why I don't talk a lot about my past and I think you should know the real reason. Maybe you should sit down."
"We're fine," Gus interrupted. "What is it you came here to say, John?"
"I had a son, a little boy. I had a wife, I had a dog, I lived in a nice house in the suburbs," he continued.
"Had?" Harley asked and John nodded.
"I'm not from Santa Fe. I'm actually from Chicago and my wife, my dog, my house are all gone. But my son isn't. My son is…amazing. He's strong and he's proud. He's happy, but what I'm about to say might destroy all of that."
"No," Gus said quietly, realizing what John was getting at. "Don't."
"Gus…your father didn't die that day on the street. It was all a set-up. Everything was an act. He was put in the Witness Protection Program and has been hiding out ever since."
"I said don't!" Gus yelled angrily.
"Oh my god." Harley gasped and found herself unable to move.
"I'm your father, Gus. My real name is Joe Augustino. I faked my death to protect my son, to protect you," John said as he took a step towards Gus.
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Post by Jen on Jan 13, 2005 21:24:37 GMT -5
"You're a liar," Gus shot back. "You are not my father. My father is dead! He has to be - my father would never leave me like that."
"Nicky…"
"Don't call me that!"
Harley's daze only lasted a few seconds and her first instinct was to protect her husband. She stepped forward and in front of Gus as if she could shield him from this lie - or truth, whichever it was.
"Why would say something like that? What do you want?" she demanded.
"I understand why you're upset and I don't want anything. When I first came to Springfield, it was just supposed to be for a few days. I just wanted to see you, make sure you were doing okay. I thought about you every second of every day since I left you, but I never had the guts to see you. When I heard there was a position open at the station, I had to take a chance, and I got it. And I got to see you again, every day. I got to work along side of you - something I always hoped I would be able to do someday when you were little. I wanted to tell you the truth, so many times, but I couldn't. You were so happy. Are happy. With Harley and the kids…what I had to say would only ruin that."
"So why now?" Harley asked. "Why do you feel the need to ruin that all now?"
"Because I watched you relive that day you lost your father when Kevin died, and you have a right to know that your father is alive, that he- that I- love you and I'm proud of you."
"Get out. Get out of my house," Gus said calmly.
"You don't believe me. Of course you don't. You're a cop. You were trained not to trust people. I'll prove it to you. I'll take a blood test, I'll tell you things that only you and I would know. Remember when you were…seven and we drove up to Canada for the weekend and went fishing? You loved fishing, it was our favorite thing to do on the weekends. The first time we went fishing, all you caught was a cold and a bluegill. But the look on your face when you reeled that fish in- you were so proud. I was so proud. You remember that, Gus, I know you do. I'm not making this up, I promise."
"Like we're supposed to believe anything you say?" Gus scoffed. "I told you to get out," he added with a defiant stare. "My wife and I were just about to have dinner and I don't want you here," he said then left the room, leaving Harley and John facing off.
"Harley, I'm not lying. I swear."
"Why should we believe that? What kind of father leaves his ten year old son to fend for himself?" she asked.
"I did it to protect him. I made arrangements, he would be taken care of. He was in so much danger, the only choice I had was to let the Santos family think they won by killing me. Then they left Nicky alone. Wouldn't you do anything to protect your children? Susan and Zach and that baby you're carrying? Wouldn't you give up your life to save theirs?"
"In a second," she replied quietly.
"That's what I did. Tell me you believe me, talk to Gus. I need him to understand," John pleaded.
"I think Gus asked you to leave, and I would appreciate it if you did before I have to ask you again," she replied coldly.
John nodded. "Okay. I'm going," he said then opened the door and left.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Is he gone?" Gus asked when he heard Harley come out onto the deck behind him.
"He's gone," she replied.
"Good. I don't want that liar anywhere near us."
"Honey…I think he might be telling the truth," she said.
"He's not," he argued.
"He might be. Come on, it's possible. And he knew that stuff from when you were a kid? Who else would know that? The first fish you ever caught isn't the kind of info just anyone can find out," she said as she ran her hand down his back.
"It can't be true," he said as he lowered his head. "If it's true, it means he left. By choice. My father would never do that to me."
"He would if he thought it was the only way to protect you," she replied and he shook his head.
"My father is dead. I watched him bleed all over the street. I watched them lower him into the ground," he insisted as he squeezed his eyes shut causing the tears that were welling up in them to fall.
Harley reached over and wiped them away, "You watched them lower a casket into the ground, Gus. That's it," she said and he pulled away.
"Why are you doing this?" he asked.
"Doing what?"
"Defending him? You're supposed to be on my side."
"I am on your side. I don't want him to hurt you, but I don't want you to hurt yourself either. How many times have you said to me that you wish your dad could be here? You wish he could meet me, you wish he could meet his grandchild, you wish he could see the man you grew up to be. Gus, if he is your father, this is that chance. Do you really want to push him away?"
"That man is not my father!" he said loudly before he turned and tore back into the house.
Harley followed him through the kitchen to the living room.
"Don't you dare walk out that door," she warned angrily. "I will not let you run away from me right now," she added as he opened the door and she pushed it shut from behind him.
Gus rested his forehead against the door and let out an angry grunt that quickly turned into a choking sob. Harley put her hand on his back and he turned around and fell into her arms. She couldn't stop her own tears as he held onto her like his life depended on it and she could feel his heart breaking in his chest.
Neither one of them moved or said anything for a long time until Harley led him over to the couch.
"Thank you for not letting me leave," he said quietly. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay," she replied. "You're not alone, Gus. And I'm not going to let you forget that."
"Can we eat now?" he asked.
"If you want," she nodded and he pulled her into the kitchen.
She reheated the food and Gus made a plate, but didn't do much more than push his food around with his fork while Harley ate.
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Post by Jen on Jan 13, 2005 21:24:58 GMT -5
Harley left Gus sitting at the table in a daze while she went to finish the dishes. She kissed him when she got up, but he barely seemed to notice.
The phone ringing pulled him out of his daze and he stood up and pulled the cord out of the wall. If it was that important, the person would call one of their cell phones. He turned around to find Harley and saw her standing at the sink rinsing off dishes then transferring them to the dishwasher. He stood in the doorway and watched her work silently until he couldn't stand it any longer. He needed to be where he felt the most safe- in her arms.
He walked up behind her and put his arms around her growing stomach as he kissed her neck. She set the plate she was rinsing back in the sink and leaned back against him.
"Are you okay?" she asked as she reached back and put her arm around his neck.
"I will be," he replied as he continued sucking on the soft flesh of her neck. "I need you," he breathed and she turned in his arms.
"I'm right here," she said and he swept her up in a deep kiss.
He shut the dishwasher and picked Harley up, setting her on the counter. He covered her mouth with his in a fierce kiss as he fought to undo the buttons on her shirt. He finally got it open and pushed it over her shoulders but not completely off of her. He moved his head down and kissed her breasts through the thin lace that covered them.
Harley threw her head back as he slid his hand under her bra and cupped her breast as he kissed her exposed neck.
"Baby, not here," she whispered, pulling his mouth to hers, "Upstairs," she said before he took her hand and led her up to their bedroom.
“Gus…do you want to talk?” she asked between kisses and he pulled her shirt off of her completely.
“No, I just want to make love to you,” he replied and continued kissing her.
She backed away and pulled his shirt over his head then removed the rest of his clothes. He finished stripping her and pulled her back into his arms. He kissed her deeply, his hands tangled in her hair, every inch of their bodies touching and Gus forgot about everything but Harley and how safe and loved she made him feel. He was completely wrapped up in her until he felt the baby kick against his stomach and he jumped back from Harley.
“Okay, that was weird!” he laughed.
“He’s been moving a lot tonight,” she smiled and pulled him back to her in a kiss.
Gus tried to keep his mind on Harley, but he kept feeling the baby, so he pulled back again, “That’s not distracting you?” he asked.
“I guess I’m used to it,” she shrugged.
Gus stepped back and admired Harley’s naked, changing body. He stared at her until she became self-conscious and stepped forward, burying herself into his body.
“What are you looking at?” she asked shyly.
“You,” he answered as he lifted her head up and looked into her eyes. “You are so beautiful. You are,” he continued as he kissed the tip of her nose. “I didn’t think it was possible, but you are even more beautiful pregnant. If I ever make you doubt that, will you just kick my butt please?”
Harley laughed softly, “Okay. Hey, we can talk if you want,” she repeated.
“Baby, I don’t want to talk, I don’t even want to think about what happened, okay? Right now, I just need to feel safe and that’s right here with you,” he replied and covered her lips with his.
“Why is he moving? I mean, is this bad for him…?” Gus asked between kisses.
“No, sweetie, he’s just moving. He doesn’t know we’re about to have sex, he’s not going to feel it, he’s just wide awake right now,” she explained and pushed him backwards to the bed. “Just ignore him and concentrate on me.”
“Honey, he’s inside of you, how can I ignore him?” he asked as they fell onto the bed and Harley laid on top of him.
“Well, if you would shut up for more than a few seconds, I can make you forget all about him,” she teased as she kissed his neck.
“This is how we got him in the first place,” he replied.
“Gus…” she moaned. “You can’t get a pregnant woman all worked up and then just want to talk about the baby.”
“I’m sorry, I’m going to stop talking now, I swear.”
“Good,” she replied with a kiss, “I love you. And if I ever make you doubt that, you can kick my butt.”
Gus smiled up at her without responding.
“You can talk now,” she laughed.
“Oh, in that case, I love you too,” he finally said before he leaned up and kissed her deeply.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Harley rolled onto her side to snuggle up to Gus, but his side of the bed was empty. She opened her eyes and saw him sitting on the floor, leaning against the bed with his back to her. She stretched across the bed and wrapped her arms around his neck from behind.
"Couldn't sleep?" she asked as she kissed his cheek and he shook his head.
"What are you looking at?" she asked when she saw him flipping through a photo album.
"It's me and my dad," he replied and flipped back a few pages. "This is my favorite picture of us," he pointed out.
It was a picture of Joe and Gus when he was about four. They were both lying on the ground, their hands behind their heads and their legs crossed at the ankles. Gus was a perfect mirror image of his father, only smaller.
"I wanted to be just like him," he sneered and slammed the book shut. "I wanted to grow up to be a man who leaves his only son alone? God, it makes me sick."
"Well, at least you've moved past the denial stage," Harley replied. "You know there are a lot of good qualities you did get from your dad."
"That's not really what I want to hear right now," he said.
"What do you want to hear?" she asked.
"That this is all a really bad nightmare. That tomorrow morning I'll wake up in your arms and life will be normal again," he sighed.
"I can't tell you that," she replied. "I'd love to, I'd love to be able to fix this for you, but I can't."
"What am I supposed to do? I am supposed to forgive him? Am I supposed to walk up to him and say 'gee, dad, you know, it sucks, but I forgive you for faking your death and leaving me to grow up as a foster kid in your friends' homes. I forgive you for missing all of my baseball games and my graduations and my wedding day. I forgive you for giving me a reason to ruin my life with this obsession I had of avenging your death? I can't do that," he shook his head.
"No one expects you to do that. At least not at yet," she replied.
"He does."
"No, he doesn't. He hopes that you will, but he knows you won't be able to. Look, you don’t have to do anything about it right now. Take some time and work it out inside first, then you can deal with him, okay?” she suggested. “And don’t forget I’m here, if you want to talk or yell or cry, I’m right here beside you.”
Gus turned his head to the side and kissed her cheek, “I love you so much. What would I do without you?”
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Post by Jen on Jan 13, 2005 21:25:30 GMT -5
Gus spent the rest of the weekend trying not to think about what John told them. When Harley would ask if he wanted to talk, he would change the subject and he kept busy so his mind wouldn't have to deal with what happened.
Sunday night, in bed, Harley finally got fed up with Gus’s silence. She pulled back the covers and climbed into his lap, facing him.
“Mmm, hi,” he smiled and kissed her.
She pulled away from his kisses and held his face in her hands, “Enough. I finally have you in a position where you can’t run away from me or from what happened. Gus, you have to see John tomorrow. What are you going to do?” she asked.
“Harley…” he protested and tried to move his face out of her hands, but she had a tight grip on him. “Alright. I don’t know, okay?”
“No, it’s not okay. Look, sweetie, I understand that you need time to deal with this. I went through this too, remember? I thought my Dad was dead and then all of a sudden, he was standing in front of me, and I certainly didn’t forgive him right away. But you have to deal with it. It’s not just going to go away.”
“I know,” Gus replied quietly. “I just don’t know what to do.”
“Do you believe him?”
“I didn’t at first, but yeah, I think he’s telling the truth. I just have to find out for sure.”
“How do you plan on doing that? I mean, you can’t just call up the Bureau and ask if Joe August went into Witness Protection. They’re not going to tell you, even if anyone there knows, which I really doubt,” Harley said.
“I know, but what can I do? A blood test? I guess that’s a start,” he shrugged. “I just can’t believe this. The past twenty years, all I wanted was my dad back, and now he might be and I don’t know how to deal with that.”
“But you will. We will deal with it together,” she told him and she threaded her fingers through his.
Gus nodded, “The two of us.”
“No, the five of us,” she corrected him.
“I don’t want to bring Susan and Zach into this yet, okay? And actually, can we keep everyone out of it for now? Like Buzz, Frank, Blake…”
“Of course,” she answered with a kiss before she laid back down beside him for the night.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Can I talk to you?" Gus asked as he came up to John's desk early the next morning.
"Sure," John hesitated as he pushed back in his chair.
"Not here," Gus said and walked out of the room with John following him.
"What's going on with them?" Frank asked Harley.
"Nothing," she shrugged. She felt guilty about lying to her brother, but she knew it wasn't her place to share what was really going on.
"Look, I don't know what you thought would happen when you told me this...news, and I don't really even know what I am supposed to do right now, but I thought I should at least talk to you," Gus said as they walked into the interrogation room.
"I don't want to talk about how or why or anything. I don't want to hear about how you feel right now. I want to tell you that I need time, lots of time, to deal with this. I…you know I have a family now. I have a wife and step-children and a baby on the way, I don't have the time or the energy to deal with this. I'm finally at a place in my life where my every thought isn't filled with hate and anger towards the people who killed my father. I don't have nightmares about watching him die in the street, I don't feel the hurt like I used to. That emptiness in my life has been filled, and then you come in and rip it all apart again," he rambled and John sat patiently listening to him. "I don't know how to deal with that and to be honest, I don't know if I even want to," he finished as he turned his back to John and played with a stapler on one of the filing cabinets.
"I didn't come here to hurt you. I didn't even really intend on telling you at all, I just wanted to see you. And I did and you were so happy, that's why I didn't tell you all of this a year ago. I knew you would be angry and I couldn't bear to cause you anymore pain," John explained.
"So why now? I'm happy now, or at least I was."
"Because it got too hard keeping this secret? Because I wanted to you know me and I wanted to know you."
"You know me. We've worked together for a year," Gus argued.
"Yeah, but I don't know you as my son. I don't get to tell people that you're my son. You still don't have a father, not really. I want to be a part of your life, Gus. I want to be a part of my grandchild's life, and I hope one day you'll let me do that," John said as he stood up. "Take all the time you need. I'm not going anywhere and I won't push you," he finished as he went to open the door.
"I want a blood test. I need to know for sure," Gus said and John nodded.
"Just let me know when," he said before leaving the room.
"Alright, just get back to me as soon as possible. I'm running out of interesting cases here and I still have three months left," Harley joked on the phone to a man down in forensics as she saw Gus and John come back to their desks.
"Thanks Tom," she said before hanging up. She looked over at Gus who was trying to get a stubborn stick of gum out of its package. "You okay?"
"I need a cigarette," he replied impatiently.
Harley walked over to his desk and unwrapped the piece of gum for him then kissed him softly.
"No you don't," she replied. “How about some coffee though?” she asked and he shrugged.
She went over to the coffee maker and poured him a cup but Frank interrupted before she could give it to him.
“Hey Gus, we have to talk a call, Franklin wants you with us,” Frank announced and Gus looked up at Harley.
“Uh, do I really need to go? I have a lot of stuff to finish up here,” Gus protested.
“Franklin’s orders.”
“Alright,” Gus sighed and pulled his suit jacket on. “I’ll be back later,” he said to Harley with a quick kiss.
“Be careful,” she replied. “All of you,” she added. They were all still shook up over Kevin’s unexpected death.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
“Hey Frank, can we stop by the hospital on the way back?” Gus asked as the three of them got in the car after they finished up with the call they took.
“What’s up?” he asked.
“Nothing, I just need to talk to Rick about something, if it’s not too much trouble. It won’t take long.”
“No, it’s fine with me. Okay with you John?” Frank asked.
“Sure,” John replied quietly.
“What’s up with you two? There’s this tension and Gus, you are way too quiet to be normal,” Frank said.
“Frank…” Gus began but John interrupted.
“It’s nothing. We just had a disagreement about a case. It’s fine,” he said and Gus responded with silence until Frank pulled into the parking lot at the hospital.
“I’ll be right back,” Gus said and jogged inside to find Rick.
“Gus, hey, what’s up?” Rick asked.
“Hey Rick, can we talk somewhere a little more private?” Gus asked and Rick led him into an empty exam room. “Umm, I’m going to need a paternity test done.”
“What? On the baby?” Rick asked, confused.
“No, god no, not on the baby, please. On me. You know Frank’s partner John?” Gus asked and Rick nodded, “Well, he’s claiming to be my father…”
“What?”
“I know, it’s crazy, and it’s a really long story, and it has to be really private for right now, so I was hoping you could do a blood test and keep it quiet. So could you?” he asked.
“Yeah, sure. I just need samples from you both. I can take yours now if you want.”
“Yeah, that’s fine. I’ll have John come by later and find you. How long will you be here?” Gus asked.
“An hour, then I’ll be back tonight at seven,” Rick answered and Gus nodded.
“Thanks a lot Rick,” Gus said after Rick drew his blood and he put his jacket back on. “John Castelli. I’ll tell him to find you.”
“Bye Gus,” Rick said then left the room.
When they got back to the station, Gus followed John into the interrogation room and asked him to see Rick Bauer at the hospital for a blood test.
“Sure Gus. But I already know what the result will be, and I think you do too,” he replied.
“He’ll be there after seven tonight,” was all Gus said before leaving the room.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Early the next morning, the room rang at Gus and Harley’s house and Gus hurried to answer it before it woke Zach up.
“Hello?” he answered sleepily.
“Gus, it’s Rick. Sorry to call so early, but I just got the results back from the blood test. It was positive Gus. John Castelli is your father.”
“Oh. Thanks Rick,” Gus said after a few moments of silence.
“Sure,” Rick replied before they hung up.
“What did Rick want?” Harley asked as she yawned and snuggled back up to Gus’s side.
“I had him run a blood test on me and John. It was positive. He’s definitely my dad,” Gus answered and Harley sat up.
“My god. Are you okay?” she asked.
“I guess. I mean, it’s what I was expecting. I don’t know, lay down, it’s early,” he said and pulled her back down beside him.
Ten minutes later, Gus was still staring up at the ceiling and Harley hadn’t fallen back asleep either. He kissed her forehead and got out of bed.
"Where are you going?" Harley asked.
"I'm going to Chicago. To the cemetery," he answered as he struggled into a pair of jeans.
"Gus..."
"I know. I know it's not him, but I need to go."
"Do you want me to come with you?" she asked as she sat up in the bed.
"No, baby, go back to sleep, it's early. And I need to do this myself. I won't be there long, I'll be back this afternoon," he said as he sat beside her and kissed her.
"Be careful," she said and he squeezed her hand before leaving the room.
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